Marilyn O’Malley, CPCC Life Coaching & Resources

“Oh, Shit, Don’t Fall Off Here!”
(How To Conquer Mountains By Changing Your Perspective)
by Marilyn O’Malley, CPCC

I looked like a wounded warrior and felt like a Mountain Goddess as we finally hit the pavement riding back to the car over four hours later. My knees and shins were scraped, my calves were dripping with blood, and my white shirt was covered in spurs.

I thought this would be the plan: Jeff, my boyfriend, was going to ride up Buckhorn Road and take the Camuesa Connector down while I cruised the paved road along the winding river for an hour and then relaxed by the water waiting for him to return.

But Jeff had another plan. He wanted me to ride with him a short distance up the mountain, and then I could come down and do my original, easier ride by myself. He thought it would be good practice for me because I’m a novice mountain biker. The better I get the more rides we can do together.

“Hum,” I was thinking while relaxed and at ease. This would mean a mental shift if I did it: a change in my perspective about completing a challenging ride. I knew riding with Jeff would take more effort than I originally thought I was up for. My values of adventure and connection were nudging me to go, and I just couldn’t find a good enough excuse to decline. So, I said, “YES.”

I let Jeff gently coax me half way up the mountain. This was the point where I had to decide whether to continue with him or to turn around. I didn’t want to go back by myself and I wasn’t sure what was ahead. I needed clarification as to what I was up against. I was nervous, uncertain, and insecure.

“How much longer to the top of the mountain? How dangerous is the single track downhill? Will we make it back before dark? What about mountain lions!” my fearful self pleaded.

The unknown was frightening, and the idea of injury and leaving the course unfinished were even further daunting. But Jeff knew I could do it if I got out of my own way and if I just kept a slow and steady pace. When you’re in doubt, having someone you trust believe in you is essential to creating success. Due in part of his encouragement, I was open to learning the skills I needed to accomplish the task and committed to the whole ride.

Even though I felt I would be pushed beyond my limits, I decided to make the best of whatever came up in this journey. For the next three hours, I was a good student applying everything Jeff had to teach me about riding. I also used my life coaching tools to manage my mental attitude and attention. I shifted my thoughts from thinking, “This is going to be really hard,” and “Climbing is boring,” to seeing it as a fun adventure with Jeff that was going to challenge me in new ways. I had to create compelling “whys” and give myself rewards along the way. I had to anticipate the best and spend more time in the present moment. By changing my mindset, I was setting myself up for success and not for failure.

I also had to change my normal riding style, which was bee-line fast. I knew if I were to ride with absolute haste, neither would I feel good nor would I last for very long on this ride. One of the first things I had to learn was patience and steady peddling from Jeff. When I learned that, it was a lot easier than I had imagined and not at all boring.

It was magnificent when I reached the top of the mountain where we connected to the single track trail to get down the mountain. Looking down from where I came from was so amazing. I believe we climbed more than 2,000 feet that day. I was proud of my accomplishment as I eyed the multitude of hairpin turns below us and viewed mountain tops that looked so far away at the beginning and now appeared nearly eye level. The single track started in a field of gold that reached the top of my shoulders. It was so beautiful swooping downward toward the river and it felt great to be riding down hill…for a short time!

“Oh, shit, don’t fall off here!” I said to myself as I saw my potential fate fifteen feet below down a gulley. It felt like I was falling in slow motion as I tipped sideways off my bike toward the drop off. I was thinking, “This must look pretty funny to Jeff farther ahead watching me as I screamed, ‘Help!’” Then, I hit the ground. But I found myself luckily supported by a five-foot tall, prickly shrub tree with my bike on top of me about half way down the drop off. I laughed while Jeff rescued me from my current entanglement. I was so joyful that I wasn’t hurt.

It didn’t matter whether it was a flower, a rut in the trail, or a drop off on the side of the mountain, I noticed that wherever I focused my attention, my bike would go immediately. I kept testing it out because I was fascinated by how quickly it happened. I would steer my bike away from a rock, but because I was thinking about it obscuring my path, the bike would inadvertently go toward it. So, I had to focus only on where I wanted to go all the time instead of where I didn’t want to go.

I wanted to share this biking experience with you because I believe that you can benefit from witnessing my process of conscious decision making. My choices were of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual in nature. None of my choices were set in stone. I could only make choices if I were in the present moment to effect the next moment’s outcome. I had to live in the NOW.

Choosing to focus on what I desired helped me get the feeling results that compelled me to ride the mountain in the first place with Jeff, and thereby, created a situation that was fulfilling and brought me happiness. Whatever you focus on, you move toward. I had to keep my focus consistently on my actions and beliefs to get me up and down the mountain.

By knowing what I wanted to get out of the experience, (what I value) helped me make better choices to get those results (good feelings, connection, accomplishment, adventure, and health). In the beginning, I based my choices on how I wanted to feel, not about what I was going to accomplish. I had to keep adjusting my choices as I encounter new situations or events.

Most people make choices unconsciously or habitually and react the same way to challenges or obstacles as they reacted when they were young. When you make choices from a reactionary place, you end up feeling like a victim because a lot of the results you get do not fully coincide with what you want, which renders you powerless. You can’t find a solution to get what you really want when all your attention is on what you don’t want to happen.

To get what you want in your life you need to be conscious of what you like, love, and desire. So, the better you know yourself, the better you can make choices in your life that make you happy. This is why happiness is a choice! You are choosing happiness when you honor your values, desires and passions.

To help you find more happiness in your life, take the Values Clarification below. Then start focusing on your top 10 values by making conscious choices in your everyday life that support them.

Value Clarification Form